There is an episode on the Real Housewives series, where this wedding planner is trying to convince the housewife to spend more, more, more!!! He convinces her that she has to compete with the rest of the town and “Keep up with the Joneses” (Yes, that is the actual expression. I didn’t get the name wrong!). Well as I am watching this planner, all I am thinking is how irresponsible he is being with her money, and how he has no regard for this woman’s hard work or her daughter’s future! Forget the fifty chandeliers, plan a gorgeous garden wedding and setup trust funds for your grandchildren, donate money to a local charity or just keep it for your future.
Now I am all about enjoying the pleasures of life. If you work hard and you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor then go for it. But there has to be a respect for money, a proper set of priorities, empathy for humanity and the 99% that are struggling.
So, I have accepted it. I will probably never be one of the luxurious wedding planners that you see on tv and book signings. I am a realist, and I suffer from yuppie guilt. I sit down with my clients and make sure they have their priorities straight. In my portfolio you will see that we produce very elaborate weddings with some luxurious details. But every single client of mine has heard my priorities talk: “Remember this is one day, there is a whole life and marriage beyond it.” and “Do you really need that?!”
By the way, in over twelve years of planning events, I have not had ONE client come to me and wish they had spent more on their wedding day. But I have had many tell me they wish they had spent less.
Right now venues and vendors I work with are probably cringing. But I also work with many charitable organizations and foundations that hopefully are smiling.
The lesson here is, before you set the budget or write out your guest list, determine your priorities and keep each other in check. Having the money to have a grand wedding or event is a blessing. Be grateful, respect the work involved in attaining that money, and remember to give back.